How do I break off a long distance engagement. Should I or am I doing the wrong thing.?

I don't know how to do this. We are going on a trip this weekend for my b-day and he already paid for a cruise for early this year, except I will pay for my airfare. We got the airline tickets. I feel horrible since he paid for the cruise when now he could have bunked w/his parents at a cheaper cost. I feel like I should pay for that part that he spent on for me. I want to be fair. Should I wait until after the cruise, and no I am not being selfish. I was thinking of past events when we first started to date how he would rubberneck girls in front of me, look women up and down from head to toe, look at women while we are eating meals at restaurants, had young mags (a little over 18), young videos (since thrown away), seems to have a slight perversion for the young girls just out of high school, doents his life w/prior ladies in files, calls me his ex-fiances name constantly, how he continues to look at women even though I told him not or later say someone is pretty. Still, he calls me beautiful, his only love, kisses me, has helped me so much w/the death of my husband, helps around the house, doesn't do drugs or drink (a big plus for me), talks about us being together forever, gets me thoughtful gifts, says he may look at women but will always bring his inspiration home. Says he loves me and there are not buts. Yet, I feel since he is highly visual that I have to always look good, but be low maintenance. He is hyper active and always on the go. I am a home body and like to take my time. I like to kick back on weekends. He gets bored. The sleeping habits get to me. He is up early. I hate mornings and like to sleep in late on weekends. He doesn't. Yet we like the same things too and have a lot in common. I have never dated before since college. He is the first one since my husband ped away. This is hard since this is my first experience with a guy since college, married life. We dated in high school, hence why I said yes. I just don't know what to do.