Can I be so numb to the fact of that I cant ?

I have been told that I am very indecisive person. I do not care about much or have that many opinions. I am normally numb to my emotions and to pain. I just live life as it is and don't let the little things bother me. But over the past year or so I started to masturbate and I have yet to (so I think). I have also had a boyfriend who I have played around with and had once and have yet to . When I have had , played around with self, and had boyfriend play around, it felt really good and made me be able to relax and peaceful but nothing like the best feeling ever. I know people are like believe me you know if you have or haven't. But can my indecisiveness, lack of caring, and interest be why I don't/cant ? Or can it be that because I am the way I am, that the feeling I feel is an but don't believe it is cause I don't believe it is this huge sensation or as big of a thing that people hype it to be? Any help or counseling would be appreciated. Thank you